Simple ways to find happiness
We often think that big happiness is waiting for us somewhere in the future. Sometimes we believe that it is the near future. 'I' ll be happy when I get a new pair of shoes.' Or, I' ll be happy if the person I have a crush on gives me a call.' Or when we go out and have a party .... Sometimes we hope that happiness awaits us at the end of College. So for the long five or six years we pray that one day when we graduate we'll be happy. We hope we'll be happy when our kids get married or when they find a job...
After years and years of waiting, when that day finally arrives and when we finally, let's say- graduate, we are happy for a few days or even months, but very quickly we go back to our square one and this time wait to get a job in order to be happy.
What I am trying to say is that happiness is in our mind, only by training our thoughts day by day can we prolong its feeling. Maybe the time we feel joy will not last all day every day, but it can definitely be longer and more conscious than it is now. Happiness is inside of us and I always remind my clients that all the power is in their own hands. But now you might say:- 'Ok ,if happiness is in my own hands, how come I feel so miserable and so helpless?'
The truth is that we are trained from very early days to concentrate on the things we don't have, instead of enjoying the stuff we already have. Take a simple example:-If we look in our closets we often, (some of us always), think that we have nothing to wear. But the truth is that our closets are often really brimming. We have more clothes than we actually need. And this happens in many different aspects of our lives. We were trained to focus on the problem. For example-if somebody smiles at us on the street, we are uplifted by it for a couple of minutes,not more. But if somebody upset us in a post office queue, there is a great chance that we will talk about this incident the whole afternoon!
We need to slowly train our mind to concentrate on the bright side. First of all, we often forget to feel gratitude for the things we already have and to take pride in our achievements. We tend to take everything for granted. The fact that we woke up this morning at all, the warm bed we slept in, the luxury car we are driving, the job that we have, the partner we are with .... All that wealth we just find "normal" and 'ordinary', as if it is somehow implied. And that's the moment when we get bored and when we lose the sense of excitement and joy and inspiration. This stage comes very quickly after we accomlished something or after we bought something or after we ate something. That is the reason why I always remind my clients to feel gratitude for whatever little they have in their lives.
There are two types of happiness. One is the happiness that Buddha talked about as a simple state of peace or Nirvana. This type of happiness is Enlightenment, the ecstatic realisation of who you are, or better said- what you are. It is a changeless feeling. The second type of happiness is its more traditional definition-when you feel excitement, passion and inspiration. It is the state of "when you can't stop smiling", when you are holding a puppy in your hand or when you feel butterflies in your stomach.
If you are at all confused about what I am trying to say here, I encourage you to do a little exercise right now while you are reading this paragraph....
Take a deep breath. Breathe in and breathe out, relax.... Let go of all your thoughts for 5-10 seconds. All ideas that make you unhappy, the state you are in now which makes you unhappy. Just for a couple of seconds give up on these thoughts. Send them back to God, or to Life or to Creation. Just give up on them for a moment and breathe out. Catch this very short moment of stillness. It is a short moment of self-realisation. This moment of peace and presence that remains, is the presence of Life itself that can never be destroyed.The moment of Now,as Eckhart Tolle described in his book.
You should do this exercise every time you remember it during the day, just for 5-10 seconds. You will see after a few weeks how this feeling of now and emptiness of negative thoughts and worries becomes more automatic. And then like a miracle, even when you go through very difficult situations in your life, you will keep this feeling of peace and acceptance.
It is good if you don't really believe in this exercise, you don't need to believe it, you need to try it out yourself. Reading this blog or even going on a seminar where you get taught how to have a happier life is just not enough for a real change. You need to do something in order to train your mind and train yourself.
1) Every morning after you open your eyes, think about all the things you are thankful for, feel the gratitude.
2) During the day find some time to practice 5-10 seconds of stillness- practice the moment of Now.
3) At night, before going to sleep think about at least three positive things that happened to you during the day and be thankful for them.
These three easy steps will help you feel better instantly in your own skin.
Remember that even if you have the best fitness coach -you are the one who needs to sweat and do exercise in order to feel better and look better.
Don't just read, do it! Now!