How to free yourself of energy vampires
In the last few years I underwent big changes in my life. Not only had I moved to a different country, but I also made major changes and cut down of my social circle. It was not always easy, but it was a necessary thing to do if I wanted to protect myself from negativity and energy vampires. Like everything else in life - this was easier said than done.
Energy vampires are emotionally immature people who truly believe that the world is spinning around them. They are absolutely incapable of seeing things from a perspective other than their own. They are highly manipulative and once they "groom you " with their flattery and other tactics, you end up doing things that compromise your morals or ethic values against your will.
Where shall you start? The first step is to detect people around you who are sucking out your energy and filling you up with negativity. Only once you become fully aware of them and conscious of their behaviour, can you really give yourself a chance to react adequately.
The sad truth is that very often people who behave like energy vampires are actually close to you. It could be your parents, your boss, your spouse or even your best friend. Normally, every relation between two people is a balanced exchange of energies - of give and take. It is when that balance is disturbed, and one party starts doing more far more taking than giving. You quickly become a victim of their selfish goals and plans.
Energy drainers have certain characteristics:-
1. The Flatterer
This type of person will immediately find your week spots. They will turn them around and use them in order to get something from you or to achieve something.
It works quite simply. Let's say you are not happy with your weight. The flatterer will come and tell you "Oh wow! You look fantastic today! The best!" If you're not aware of the secret agenda behind this flattering, you would be so happy to hear it, you would overlook the next sentence:
"Please make me some coffee" (your colleague) or - "Can you please do my makeup" (your friend), or - "Can you take the kids to the Birthday party?" (your spouse). Even when it sounds innocent, the consequences of this type of behaviour in the long run, will be very very exhausting for you.
2. The Blamer
This type will firstly tell you when you call them: - "Where have you been all this time? Why don't you ever call me?!" As you can see, there is not much to be answered then. You are in the check mate position of culpability, from which it's easy for them to pull your strings.
3. Jealous bees
This type cannot be happy about other people's success in any form or way. It is often seen with girls who are only friends with those who are less pretty or affluent or who are in a miserable relationship. These women (I don't mention men because this behaviour pattern dominantly pertains to females) just cannot be friends with women who are happy, successful and loved.
4. The Narcissist
They are defined by their motto: - "Me first, you second." This kind is easy to recognise because they put everything and everyone, including their parents, partners and their own children, second to themselves.
5. The Judgemental vampire
Due to a deficiency of their own self-worth, these people very easily treat others the way they inwardly feel about themselves. This results in judging others in every possible form and way, from gossiping to spreading half trues about them, often forgetting that even a half-truth is a lie.
There are many more sorts of energy vampires, the above mentioned are just the most common and typical. It is important to recognize the main kinds because often, people who are taking care of others or who have a highly developed empathy, mistakingly believe that they are the ones who are not alright, or who did something wrong.
Once we define energy vampires, what is left is to explain is how to protect ourselves from them.
If you have detected this behavior among your friends. Ask yourself; How do I feel around this person? The answer will unmistakably tell you if the person is your true friend or a energy drainer.
Once you become conscious of the fact that everything on this planet is limitless except your time, you will hopefully start to make more conscious choices of who to spend your time with. Sounds apocalyptic perhaps, but it is the big truth. I keep reminding my clients over and over again. Do not even go for a coffee with a friend that will drain your energy and suck out your good vibes. That is the absolute minimum you owe to yourself. Simply surround yourself with people who uplift you and support you in any form and way.
The harder part is how to protect yourself from energy vampires in the form of your boss or your parents or your spouse, or just any other family member. Obviously, it is very hard or nearly impossible to eliminate these people from you life.
The first thing you have to do is to detect their mode of manipulation. Once you know the energy drainer's 'M.O.' it will be much easier to become fully conscious of it when a certain situation arise.
The last step and the hardest one is to stay neutral and unfettered, no matter what kind of provocation you're exposed to (flattery, blame, judging...). Only a neutral position can protect you, because what they want is your reaction and your energy.
Only a conscious life can help us feel better and move forward in our lives. Find time for yourself to relax and meditate because you can only find the answers you are looking in the slow lane. The answers are in your heart and not your head. Make sure to surround yourself with people who make you happy. You will know who they are. Your heart will know it.